BANG! The Dice Game: The Walking Dead | Tabletop Review

17 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I’m just here to slay. Zombies. BANG! The Dice Game: The Walking Dead is copyright of Asmodee and USAopoly. Images used for reference and commentary.

Zombies aren’t the only threat in this game, which pits you against the biggest evil of all – humans! Roll the dice and think twice about those you can trust. You never know who is really on your side in this deadly bluffing game.

BANG! The Dice Game: The Walking Dead uses five dice with different symbols. These let you shoot guns, throw grenades and heal. They also expose you to zombies and deadly toxins. You have three rolls to try and inflict as much damage to the people you believe to be your enemies. Be prepared for people to hold a grudge and come for you.

https://giphy.com/gifs/season-2-the-walking-dead-episode-6-3o6ZsVeqQJ1N2qBbbO

There are two main factions that people play as – the Survivors and the Saviors. There are also two loners – Hilltop and The Kingdom – but depending on how many players you have, you might only play with one Loner. The Survivors want to kill the Saviors. The Saviors want to kill the Leader of the Survivors. The Loner wants to kill everyone.

Note: “Survivor” and “Savior” are easy to get confused. Especially when “Savior” sounds like it should be good but is actually evil. Try not to get caught out when you are bullshitting everyone that you are good.

The alliances are all kept secret, except for the Leader of the Survivors. The role of Leader of the Survivors can be overwhelming for certain people, especially if it is their first time playing. Consider reshuffling and redealing the roles if you think this will be too stressful or elect someone to be Leader and randomise the rest.

https://giphy.com/gifs/season-3-the-walking-dead-episode-1-3o6Ztd8Lf7paBjcjv2

Each player also has a character card. These are dealt randomly but not kept secret. Remember to read your character’s special ability – and don’t forget to give the Leader of the Survivors +2 health!

Note: This edition of BANG! The Dice Game is based on The Walking Dead comics and uses the awesome character artwork. This means that if you have any hopes of playing characters like Daryl, Sasha, Beth or Noah, prepare to be disappointed, because they were made up by the TV people.

It is important to realise that this is not only a bluffing game but an elimination game. Once you are dead, you are out of the game. And if you play with a lot of people, you may find that you don’t get many turns before you die. Which is not fun. This game can be played with 3-8 players, but the best number to play with is 5-6.

The game’s only real big fail is that, unlike the original BANG! The Dice Game, the dice are not engraved. This means that the images on the dice will eventually wear off. Grr!

This is a very fun game to play, as long as you play with the right kind of people. Friendly competitiveness is fab. Cutthroat nastiness is gross. Good luck finding the right balance!

— Mobile Games —

Disney Heroes: Battle Mode | Mobile Review

14 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I’m just trying to save the world, one review at a time. Disney Heroes is copyright PerBlue Entertainment Inc, Disney and Pixar. Images used for reference and commentary.

In this new mobile game, Disney characters battle against mysterious creepers and evil versions of themselves. It is not clear if these are Disney heroes who have been turned evil or if they are evil doppelgängers. The storyline is inconsistent.

You begin playing as Wreck-It-Ralph and Vanellope, picking up new heroes along the way. You can have up to five characters in a party at once. Gameplay is automated except for the power-ups, which you press yourself. Later on, you can choose to automate the whole fight and even speed it up.

https://giphy.com/gifs/wreck-it-ralph-fist-bump-VLu1UgYtmmsLu

The real challenge is leveling up your heroes. There are so many ways to do it! There are levels and skills and badges – oh my! This makes it intricate but also tricky. Sometimes you need a certain level to get a badge but you need a badge to promote your character to help them be stronger so they can level up. It’s a fish’s cycle!

There are many nods to Disney and Pixar films (mainly through badges) but the characters you can play as come from a handful of films: Wreck-It-Ralph, The Incredibles, Zootopia, Monsters Inc, Toy Story and Wall-E. Oh, and that Jack Sparrow fellow is hanging around like the creeper he is.

https://giphy.com/gifs/captain-jack-sparrow-gif-drKgOnASe1XmE

Gameplay uses energy – but it’s not as restrictive as the disastrous energy scheme of Hogwarts Mystery. You can buy energy with coins and you can buy coins with diamonds. You get diamonds through rewards or you can get some more with your real cash money. Never fear, I have managed to do lots of playing and not pay a cent!

You will unlock lots of extra areas as you play. There is the Arena (where you fight other players’ characters), Trials, City Watch and more. None of these things require energy, although there is a set amount of times you can do them. You can also join a guild. These give you more playing perks!

Disney Heroes: Battle Mode is a fun game – with beautiful graphics – but it gets a little stagnant and repetitive. I hope they will add more heroes (where are the Big Hero 6 characters?) and make the storyline more interesting.

— Picture Books —

Animal Music by Julia Donaldson, Illustrated by Nick Sharratt | Book Review

13 July, 2018

Disclosure: I borrowed this book from the library because it had a hedgehog on it. Also, I did not receive any compensation for this review. Cover art is copyright of Macmillan.

In this book, all sorts of animals are playing music. Except the hedgehog, he just hums. What are they trying to say? Hedgehogs can’t play instruments? Why couldn’t the hedgehog play the violin? They’ve got penguins playing the violin. PENGUINS! How is that even possible with their flippies?

I have been carried away. I shall compose myself. But not to music because apparently I can’t play an instrument. Just hum. Hmph.

The animals in this book include dogs, hippos, a koala, and some seafood. Is that derogatory? Sea creatures. They croon and play the spoons. I think that they have rebelled against a seafood restaurant. They have taken up the utensils that would be used to eat them and reclaimed their freedom, making music from strife.

There is a bison playing the cello that has phenomenal balance. Then there is a tiger and a carthorse. What makes a carthorse a carthorse? Is it a cart? Because this carthorse doesn’t have a cart. Is a carthorse still a carthorse if it has no cart? The tiger is beating a drum near the carthorse’s ear. I expect is aggravating, but if he complains he will be eaten.

There are also some turtles. Real turtles, not tortoises calling themselves turtles. I’m looking at you teenage ninjas! Then there is a gerbil playing a camel. Does a camel constitute as a musical instrument? Is it polite to jump around on a camel and use it as your own bouncy castle/bongo drums?

They are all playing music of different genres – pop, classical, blues and more. They are either clashing terribly or playing different set pieces. Each animal wears a sparkly red bow or bowtie. Among the animals are a diverse group of children, dancing and singing. It is night-time and they have no adult supervision.

I must conclude that this book is taking place at an international music festival to raise money for a children’s charity. Or, the animals are brainwashing all of the children, and have done away with the adults. Maybe the humming hedgehog is a hypnotist! He must be the mastermind behind it all. Yes.

‘Animal Music’ is a book packed with simple rhymes, where alliteration abounds. It is good for early readers, though I cannot say whether there is anything nefarious subliminally hidden in the text. Read at your own risk.

— Movies —

The Incredibles 2 | Movie Review

12 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. How dare they? Time to become a super villain! The Incredibles 2 is copyright Disney and Pixar. Images used for reference and commentary.

Warning: This movie contains scenes with flashing lights that may be unsafe for people with epilepsy or other photo sensitivities.

The Incredibles are back! It only took 12 years. Were you alive back then? The sequel picks up right where the first one left off. Bye bye fan theories that a grown-up Dash or Jack-Jack would be the new villain. Maybe in another 12 years?

In Incredibles 2, an eccentric hero-crazy businessman wants to lure the public’s affection back to the heroes. The secret? Good press! The best hero for the job? Elastigirl! Now she must leave her family to kick bad-guy butt, sway the public, and preferably stay alive. That would be a nice bonus.

Yes, Helen Parr is front and center. She was kicking butt in the first movie – and now she is kicking more butt! Whether it’s as Mrs. Incredible or Elastigirl, I cannot get enough of this lady. #TeamElastigirl!

https://giphy.com/gifs/the-incredibles-6KCFjVV7fcxoY

Helen is a super hero and a super mom. And now Bob has to dad it up to her level. It ain’t easy! Props to Mr. Incredible’s characterisation – he is still one flawed man. He has a short temper, an inferiority complex, and he’s jealous of his wife’s success. Wow, he sounds like a tool. The realism is on point. His behaviour is not justified or excused, but who wants to watch a movie about some glamorised twit? It is very reflective of the times – then and now – to see a man struggling to come to grips that his wife is succeeding in areas where he has faltered and is unable to thrive.

https://giphy.com/gifs/movie-disney-trailer-26otze94eXsaEyszrV

Like the first movie, The Incredibles 2 is not strictly a movie for the kiddies. “Whaaat? But it’s animated! It’s rated for kiddies!” This is true. But both flicks deal with family, marital struggles, and the need to find – and follow – your purpose. Also, the humour seems to be more targeted at the old(er) generation. It never stops to pander and that is what makes it great.

The Incredibles 2 has more, more, more than the first one! More Frozone, more Violet and Dash kicking butt, and more Jack-Jack. I have mixed feelings about Jack-Jack, the Gary Stu baby. If he was not an infant, the fact that he has 17+ powers would be irritable, not endearing. Instead, it lends itself to the story and the humour. But if they do make another Incredibles movie, set in the future, and Jack-Jack does still have all of these powers, he had better be a villain. Or I will be bored out of my mind watching him out-super Superman.

https://giphy.com/gifs/disneystudios-the-incredibles-2-2hgcF3gJfKAxqlQNTr

Oh, the villain! How could I forget? The villain is the Screenslaver – an anonymous dude who wants people to continue hating on super heroes. He uses the power of technology and mind control. Great stuff. Very unsubtle, comic book-esque, and lends itself beautifully to the importance of media in influencing the masses.

The Incredibles 2 is worth the wait. If you enjoyed the first one, you won’t be disappointed.

— Comics —

Wade Wilson’s War by Duane Swierczynski, Illustrated by Jason Pearson | Comic Review

11 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I could use some to pay for therapy. Cover art is copyright of Marvel.

This was my first Deadpool comic. I am scarred for life.

Not because of the violence, or the language, or the crazy. No. It is because the comic book people played with my mind. They made me question my own sanity. I did not like it. They are the Weapon X of my life and this is my origin story.

The comic starts off savvy. There is intrigue and Deadpoolian humour. Wade is recounting his deadly shenanigans to some official stiffs. There are many scene cuts/flashbacks. New readers who know &^%# all about Deadpool get some insight into his origin story.

Deadpool is a special soul. He is a loony, a maniac. He is also aware that he is a comic book character and breaks the fourth wall. It is marvelous. These traits are all executed in ‘Wade Wilson’s War’ – but then things get whack, and I don’t mean Deadpool-fun-times [lewd pun redacted].

The narrative is psychotically skewed. This is expected from the mind of Deadpool, but this comic tries to imply that all of Deadpool’s antics do just that – happen inside his mind. He is still crazy, but the reader is lead to question whether he is enlightened or just delusional, and the comic is full of conflicting information. Deadpool says this, security footage shows that. What is real? Who is alive? Who is dead? Is Wade Wilson just a crazy man who thinks he has superpowers?

‘Wade Wilson’s War’ takes the unreliable narrator trope and [innuendo metaphor redacted]. If that sounds good to you, read it – but be warned. You may exit this journey with conflicting emotions and more questions that you can contain.

Am I real or a fiction? Am I free or a puppet? Am I sane or a prisoner of my own imagination?

I no longer know.

— Tabletop Games —

Sheriff of Nottingham | Tabletop Review

10 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. Alms for the poor? Sheriff of Nottingham is copyright of Arcane Wonders. Images used for reference and commentary.

In Sheriff of Nottingham, you are trying to smuggle contraband past the Sheriff to help the outlaw Robin Hood. Players take turns as the Sheriff, while the others declare what type of legal goods they are bringing to market. The Sheriff must decide whether to inspect their wares or let them pass, based on how shifty looking they are and how probable their story is.

If you are caught red-handed with illegal wares, they are confiscated and you pay a fine to the Sheriff. If the Sheriff checks and there is no funny business, then you get some hush money to keep you from blabbing that he done goofed. It is possible to slip the Sheriff some coin to easy along the procedure. They must decide whether to take it and let you pass or refuse it and check your wares, because you are clearly suspect.

https://giphy.com/gifs/a-little-chaos-azEyRJdlW8MjC

This is a hard-core bluffing game. Good luck if you are incapable of lying or have no poker face. You need to be able to bluff and double-bluff. You must also suss out whether your fellow players will think you are legit or full of it. Play it to your advantage, take risks and have fun.

You can choose to play the entire game by only ever declaring legal goods, but how is that going to help Robin Hood? Don’t you want to help the cause? Don’t you? Also, contraband is worth more, so if your opponents get that sweet sweet swag past the Sheriff, while you play it safe, you shall be royally screwed.

Each gameplay is different, depending on the players, suspicion and strategy. A fun game for 3-5 players.

— Picture Books —

Porcupining: A Prickly Love Story by Lisa Wheeler, Illustrated by Janie Bynum | Book Review

9 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I was not even serenaded by a porcupine. Cover art is copyright of Little, Brown.

This is the story of Cushion, a lone Porcupine who lives in a petting zoo. You can imagine what a depressing life that is! Lonely and dejected, Cushion jailbreaks his pen and goes in search of a wife, banjo in hand. Yes, he plays the banjo. I can’t decide if this is magnificent or mortifying. Maybe both.

What keeps Cushion from finding a mate isn’t his prickly exterior, or his banjo playing, or his singing. Well, those might be contributing factors, but they aren’t his ultimate downfall. No, that lies in how he expresses himself.

Cushion is the Mr Collins of porcupines.

I’m not exaggerating. He is single-minded in his goal of “porcupining for a wife” (cringe) and has a talent for delivering insults as if they were compliments. When his advances are poorly received, he writes off the other party as the one at fault and continues on his way to woo his next victim.

Of course, as this is “a prickly love story” Mr Coll- Cushion manages to inexplicably find his perfect match in a beautiful hedgehog. Much like Elizabeth Bennet, I am flabbergasted…and intrigued. Critical as I may be of Cushion’s character, I am interested to know how this prickly love story will pan out – and there just so happens to be a follow-up book, ‘Hokey-Pokey: Another Prickly Love Story.’ I may read it.

My favourite illustrations in the book are actually the ones in the cover pages. The ones of Cushion trying to catch hearts in a net and a jar are very sweet, and the one of him smooching a hairbrush is simultaneously funny and embarrassing.

I would recommend ‘Porcupining: A Prickly Love Story’ to anyone who likes puns (so many puns) and stories where even the most obtuse and exasperating of creatures can find love.

— Movies —

Ocean’s Eight | Movie Review

8 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. Looks like I’ll just have to plan my own heist. Who’s in? Ocean’s Eight is copyright Warner Bros. Images used for reference and commentary.

Debbie Ocean was born for crime – and she’s ready to run this job. This lady is not only part of the Ocean family, but she is sharp and determined. After being strung up by an ex, she’s ready to pull off the heist she’s been cooking for the last 5+ years in the slammer. All she needs is a team. A team of ladies!

This is a spin-off of the Ocean’s Eleven movies. Debbie is Danny’s sister, but she’s suave in her own way. Sandra Bullock excels as Debbie. From the moment she appears, she owns the show – with a permanent twinkle in her eye.

Then, there are the other ladies. Quite a line-up! Each one stands apart but works together. My favourites were Rihanna’s Nine Ball and Helena Bonham Carter’s Rose Weil. Her Irish accent is 100% preferable to Cheadle’s Cockney. The ladies’ characters are good…but could have been better. There is limited interaction between them, and a void of internal conflict. Their personal stakes could have been higher. The concept of potential jail time was floated around, but nothing that kept me on the edge of my seat.

Ocean’s Eight is not devoid of men, but they are limited to smaller parts or cameos. One character’s husband was so irrelevant, he didn’t even appear. This is a nice nod to movies where men’s wives will be flippantly mentioned but not appear or have any influence on the story. Ocean’s Eight shows how women can be clever and strong on their own, but that men do not have to be rounded up and placed on a desert island for this to be possible. It was a good female ensemble cast that wasn’t trying too hard. It seemed natural – as it should! If only female casts were not such an abnormality.

The movie follows the formula of a heist movie. The team is formed, the heist is developed and carried out, some details are withheld until the end. Is it the strongest heist movie ever? No, but it’s a step in the right direction. Did you see Oceans Twelve? That movie was good for some shut-eye.

Ocean’s Eight is an enjoyable film. If you like heist movies, it is worth seeing. I hope this movie will be a launching point for more female ensemble casts. If Ocean’s Twelve led to an Ocean’s Thirteen, I don’t want to hear from any fuss-pants that Ocean’s Eight shouldn’t lead to more movies with female casts.

— Console Games —

The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit | Game Review

7 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. Just the almighty need to protect this cinnamon roll! The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit is copyright Dontnod Entertainment. Images used for reference and commentary.

This is a short free prequel to the upcoming game Life is Strange 2. It is about Chris Eriksen – a ten year old boy who uses make-believe to get through the harsh realities of life. It is all about escapism and imagination. There is no greater superpower than imagination!

The game is set in the lead-up to Christmas. You play as Chris, a kid who lives alone with his dad. The snowy scenery is gorgeous – and the music is beautiful. It draws you into this small little corner of the world where Chris lives and plays.

Because Chris is so awesome, he has invented his own superhero alter-ego – Captain Spirit. If anyone wants to know, I too have a superhero alter-ego – The Urchin – a hedgehog vigilante who defends the streets in the dead of night! Anyway… Captain Spirit fights against his evil arch nemesis, Mantroid. You must assemble Captain Spirit’s costume, fight bad guys and save the day!

There are several things to do around the house – both magnificent and mundane. Chris has a list of things to do, so make sure you check it if you want to accomplish everything and not miss anything! Some things are annoying to try and find. How hard is it to find some make-up? How hard is it? Where did you hide my make-up, Dad? Geez.

There are lots of things to discover around the house. There is the make-believe stuff, but also the daunting reality, including many things that hint at why things are the way they are for Chris and his dad.

Tip: Don’t wake up Chris’ dad unless you want to expedite the game’s end before you have had a chance to do all the things.

The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit is a sweet but serious mini game, which will give you a taste for what to expect in Life is Strange 2. I have not played Life is Strange yet, but Captain Spirit has left me wanting to give it a go.

The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit is available for free on PC, PS4 and Xbox One.

— Poetry —

Dirty Beasts by Roald Dahl, Illustrated by Quentin Blake | Book Review

6 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I was not even accosted by any “dirty beasts.” Cover art is copyright Puffin Books.

‘Dirty Beasts’ is a book of poems by Roald Dahl about various animals, most of whom seem to be aggressive towards humans in one form or another.

Sometimes the animal is lashing out against abuse (The Anteater) or experiencing intense paranoia (The Pig) but mostly the animals seem to taunt and attack humans for pure enjoyment.

The poems follow a rhyming couplet scheme. I think that is what they are called – AA BB CC etc. Each line is eight syllables long.

My favourite poems are the shorter ones – the ones that take up less than a page or a little over. They seem to be the cleverest and have the most effective rhyming. Most of the poems dodder on for pages. They read like short stories with continuous run-on sentences and the rhythmic pace suffers.

There is no poem about hedgehogs, though one does make an appearance in one of Quentin Blake’s illustrations at the end of the poem The Porcupine. This is most unpleasant as I do not think hedgehogs deserved to be lumped in under the title ‘Dirty Beasts’ even in such a minor role.

With the exception of The Porcupine, who does nothing but be sat upon, the “beasts” in Dahl’s poems range from hungry to xenophobic. The French are stereotyped to an extravagance as rabid snail and frog eaters, and an Afghani man is referred to as a “silly foreign freak” and defecated upon.

Then there are the poems that seek to fuel the propaganda that these “beasts” live to eat little children. I must say that dousing them in butterscotch and caramel does sound rather appetizing. However, the most disturbing part of the poem The Crocodile is when an adult tells their child “Go lock the door and fetch my gun!” That is not going to end well.

The last poem in the book is about something called The Tummy Beast, which I assume is a Chestburster.

If you pick up ‘Dirty Beasts’ by Roald Dahl, I recommend The Crocodile, The Lion, and The Scorpion. These poems were enjoyable to read but the rest of the book has not left me with a desire to repeat the experience. It has only left me with one question: What is a Roly-Poly Bird?

Quillbert

Books, Games, Movies & More

Author: quillbert