Author: quillbert

— Tabletop Games —

Sheriff of Nottingham | Tabletop Review

10 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. Alms for the poor? Sheriff of Nottingham is copyright of Arcane Wonders. Images used for reference and commentary.

In Sheriff of Nottingham, you are trying to smuggle contraband past the Sheriff to help the outlaw Robin Hood. Players take turns as the Sheriff, while the others declare what type of legal goods they are bringing to market. The Sheriff must decide whether to inspect their wares or let them pass, based on how shifty looking they are and how probable their story is.

If you are caught red-handed with illegal wares, they are confiscated and you pay a fine to the Sheriff. If the Sheriff checks and there is no funny business, then you get some hush money to keep you from blabbing that he done goofed. It is possible to slip the Sheriff some coin to easy along the procedure. They must decide whether to take it and let you pass or refuse it and check your wares, because you are clearly suspect.

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This is a hard-core bluffing game. Good luck if you are incapable of lying or have no poker face. You need to be able to bluff and double-bluff. You must also suss out whether your fellow players will think you are legit or full of it. Play it to your advantage, take risks and have fun.

You can choose to play the entire game by only ever declaring legal goods, but how is that going to help Robin Hood? Don’t you want to help the cause? Don’t you? Also, contraband is worth more, so if your opponents get that sweet sweet swag past the Sheriff, while you play it safe, you shall be royally screwed.

Each gameplay is different, depending on the players, suspicion and strategy. A fun game for 3-5 players.

4 out of 5 stars

— Picture Books —

Porcupining: A Prickly Love Story by Lisa Wheeler, Illustrated by Janie Bynum | Book Review

9 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I was not even serenaded by a porcupine. Cover art is copyright of Little, Brown.

This is the story of Cushion, a lone Porcupine who lives in a petting zoo. You can imagine what a depressing life that is! Lonely and dejected, Cushion jailbreaks his pen and goes in search of a wife, banjo in hand. Yes, he plays the banjo. I can’t decide if this is magnificent or mortifying. Maybe both.

What keeps Cushion from finding a mate isn’t his prickly exterior, or his banjo playing, or his singing. Well, those might be contributing factors, but they aren’t his ultimate downfall. No, that lies in how he expresses himself.

Cushion is the Mr Collins of porcupines.

I’m not exaggerating. He is single-minded in his goal of “porcupining for a wife” (cringe) and has a talent for delivering insults as if they were compliments. When his advances are poorly received, he writes off the other party as the one at fault and continues on his way to woo his next victim.

Of course, as this is “a prickly love story” Mr Coll- Cushion manages to inexplicably find his perfect match in a beautiful hedgehog. Much like Elizabeth Bennet, I am flabbergasted…and intrigued. Critical as I may be of Cushion’s character, I am interested to know how this prickly love story will pan out – and there just so happens to be a follow-up book, ‘Hokey-Pokey: Another Prickly Love Story.’ I may read it.

My favourite illustrations in the book are actually the ones in the cover pages. The ones of Cushion trying to catch hearts in a net and a jar are very sweet, and the one of him smooching a hairbrush is simultaneously funny and embarrassing.

I would recommend ‘Porcupining: A Prickly Love Story’ to anyone who likes puns (so many puns) and stories where even the most obtuse and exasperating of creatures can find love.

2.5 out of 5 stars

— Movies —

Ocean’s Eight | Movie Review

8 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. Looks like I’ll just have to plan my own heist. Who’s in? Ocean’s Eight is copyright Warner Bros. Images used for reference and commentary.

Debbie Ocean was born for crime – and she’s ready to run this job. This lady is not only part of the Ocean family, but she is sharp and determined. After being strung up by an ex, she’s ready to pull off the heist she’s been cooking for the last 5+ years in the slammer. All she needs is a team. A team of ladies!

This is a spin-off of the Ocean’s Eleven movies. Debbie is Danny’s sister, but she’s suave in her own way. Sandra Bullock excels as Debbie. From the moment she appears, she owns the show – with a permanent twinkle in her eye.

Then, there are the other ladies. Quite a line-up! Each one stands apart but works together. My favourites were Rihanna’s Nine Ball and Helena Bonham Carter’s Rose Weil. Her Irish accent is 100% preferable to Cheadle’s Cockney. The ladies’ characters are good…but could have been better. There is limited interaction between them, and a void of internal conflict. Their personal stakes could have been higher. The concept of potential jail time was floated around, but nothing that kept me on the edge of my seat.

Ocean’s Eight is not devoid of men, but they are limited to smaller parts or cameos. One character’s husband was so irrelevant, he didn’t even appear. This is a nice nod to movies where men’s wives will be flippantly mentioned but not appear or have any influence on the story. Ocean’s Eight shows how women can be clever and strong on their own, but that men do not have to be rounded up and placed on a desert island for this to be possible. It was a good female ensemble cast that wasn’t trying too hard. It seemed natural – as it should! If only female casts were not such an abnormality.

The movie follows the formula of a heist movie. The team is formed, the heist is developed and carried out, some details are withheld until the end. Is it the strongest heist movie ever? No, but it’s a step in the right direction. Did you see Oceans Twelve? That movie was good for some shut-eye.

Ocean’s Eight is an enjoyable film. If you like heist movies, it is worth seeing. I hope this movie will be a launching point for more female ensemble casts. If Ocean’s Twelve led to an Ocean’s Thirteen, I don’t want to hear from any fuss-pants that Ocean’s Eight shouldn’t lead to more movies with female casts.

3 out of 5 stars

— Console Games —

The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit | Game Review

7 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. Just the almighty need to protect this cinnamon roll! The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit is copyright Dontnod Entertainment. Images used for reference and commentary.

This is a short free prequel to the upcoming game Life is Strange 2. It is about Chris Eriksen – a ten year old boy who uses make-believe to get through the harsh realities of life. It is all about escapism and imagination. There is no greater superpower than imagination!

The game is set in the lead-up to Christmas. You play as Chris, a kid who lives alone with his dad. The snowy scenery is gorgeous – and the music is beautiful. It draws you into this small little corner of the world where Chris lives and plays.

Because Chris is so awesome, he has invented his own superhero alter-ego – Captain Spirit. If anyone wants to know, I too have a superhero alter-ego – The Urchin – a hedgehog vigilante who defends the streets in the dead of night! Anyway… Captain Spirit fights against his evil arch nemesis, Mantroid. You must assemble Captain Spirit’s costume, fight bad guys and save the day!

There are several things to do around the house – both magnificent and mundane. Chris has a list of things to do, so make sure you check it if you want to accomplish everything and not miss anything! Some things are annoying to try and find. How hard is it to find some make-up? How hard is it? Where did you hide my make-up, Dad? Geez.

There are lots of things to discover around the house. There is the make-believe stuff, but also the daunting reality, including many things that hint at why things are the way they are for Chris and his dad.

Tip: Don’t wake up Chris’ dad unless you want to expedite the game’s end before you have had a chance to do all the things.

The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit is a sweet but serious mini game, which will give you a taste for what to expect in Life is Strange 2. I have not played Life is Strange yet, but Captain Spirit has left me wanting to give it a go.

The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit is available for free on PC, PS4 and Xbox One.

3 out of 5 stars

— Poetry —

Dirty Beasts by Roald Dahl, Illustrated by Quentin Blake | Book Review

6 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I was not even accosted by any “dirty beasts.” Cover art is copyright Puffin Books.

‘Dirty Beasts’ is a book of poems by Roald Dahl about various animals, most of whom seem to be aggressive towards humans in one form or another.

Sometimes the animal is lashing out against abuse (The Anteater) or experiencing intense paranoia (The Pig) but mostly the animals seem to taunt and attack humans for pure enjoyment.

The poems follow a rhyming couplet scheme. I think that is what they are called – AA BB CC etc. Each line is eight syllables long.

My favourite poems are the shorter ones – the ones that take up less than a page or a little over. They seem to be the cleverest and have the most effective rhyming. Most of the poems dodder on for pages. They read like short stories with continuous run-on sentences and the rhythmic pace suffers.

There is no poem about hedgehogs, though one does make an appearance in one of Quentin Blake’s illustrations at the end of the poem The Porcupine. This is most unpleasant as I do not think hedgehogs deserved to be lumped in under the title ‘Dirty Beasts’ even in such a minor role.

With the exception of The Porcupine, who does nothing but be sat upon, the “beasts” in Dahl’s poems range from hungry to xenophobic. The French are stereotyped to an extravagance as rabid snail and frog eaters, and an Afghani man is referred to as a “silly foreign freak” and defecated upon.

Then there are the poems that seek to fuel the propaganda that these “beasts” live to eat little children. I must say that dousing them in butterscotch and caramel does sound rather appetizing. However, the most disturbing part of the poem The Crocodile is when an adult tells their child “Go lock the door and fetch my gun!” That is not going to end well.

The last poem in the book is about something called The Tummy Beast, which I assume is a Chestburster.

If you pick up ‘Dirty Beasts’ by Roald Dahl, I recommend The Crocodile, The Lion, and The Scorpion. These poems were enjoyable to read but the rest of the book has not left me with a desire to repeat the experience. It has only left me with one question: What is a Roly-Poly Bird?

2 out of 5 stars

— Movies —

Deadpool 2 | Movie Review

5 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. Throw a dime my way. Not really, I don’t live in America anymore. Deadpool 2 is copyright 20th Century Fox. Images used for reference and commentary.

The sequel to a successful movie that no one thought would ever actually exist, Deadpool 2 delivers the same signature humour that carried the first one. Like the first one, it relies heavily on Deadpool’s flavour and flare – but now there is an antagonist that is worth his time. Sorry, Francis, ya’ basic!

Cable (real name Nathan, no wonder he goes by Cable) is a bad-ass cyborg mutant from the future, intent on killing a mutant kid for whatever reason. You’ll have to watch the movie yourself to find out why. Russell, the said child-person, is played by Julian Dennison of Hunt for the Wilderpeople notoriety. Let’s take a moment to thank Marvel for including a New Zealand mutant that wasn’t Kiwi Black. Whoever created and named that guy needs a kick right up Main Street.

I was not impressed by how they handled Vanessa’s character. I did not expect her to be out there kicking ass with the rest of them, but she was squeezed squarely in the love interest trope box and it was gross, boring and predictable.

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Deadpool 2’s other main fail was that, for a movie dealing with time-travel, it messed up its time-line. There is a cameo by characters from the 80s in a movie that is clearly set – judging by technology and pop culture references – now. Someone thought they were being clever but was in fact being super stupid.

Highlights of the film were, of course, Deadpool – but also Cable and Domino. They were good counters to Deadpool’s extravagance, but in distinctive and different ways. I am looking forward to seeing more of them in the X-Force movie. When does that come out? Now? Now please.

Is Deadpool 2 just a jerk-fest for fans of the Merc with a Mouth? Yes – but that doesn’t mean it isn’t an enjoyable one.

3.5 out of 5 stars

— Tabletop Games —

Love Letter | Tabletop Review

3 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. But the Princess loves me, so there! Love Letter is copyright of Seji Kanai and AEG. Images used are for reference and commentary.

Love Letter is a travel-sized card game for 2-4 players…but a 2 player game is a dud game. You have been warned. It is fun, quick and easy to learn and play. Gameplay averages at 20 minutes.

In Love Letter, players vie for the attention of Princess Anette. The goal of the game is to get your love letter to the Princess without being caught. You are also trying to intercept the letters of other sneaky suitors. The game is a mixture of strategy and luck, and uses a small deck of 16 cards that may help or hinder you and your rivals.

Each player begins the round with one card. On their turn, they draw a second card and choose one to play. For instance, Odette the Guard may interrogate your rivals. If you play her, you must accuse another player of having a certain accomplice.

“Avast, fiend! I know you cavort with the Prince!”

If you are wrong, you look like a bit of a nob, but nothing happens. If you are right, the player must discard the Prince – their letter intercepted – and they are out of the round. The last suitor standing – or the one with the highest valued card at the end of the round – succeeds in getting their letter to the Princess and gains a token of affection. The game ends when one suitor has four tokens of affection and wins the heart of the Princess.

Love letter is a game of luck and deduction. It incorporates some bluffing, but not enough that it will hinder those without a poker face. Just those without a brain. The fact that is is small and compact makes it great for playing on the go, and it is accessible to even the greatest gaming noobs. Remember to read the instruction book inside, not just for the rules but for the rich backstory of all the different characters.

There are many other editions of Love Letter. There is a deluxe edition, with more cards and characters, and many other themed versions of the game. Each edition changes an element to switch up the gameplay, keeping interest fresh and allowing gamers to choose the version that best suits them.

4 out of 5 stars

— Picture Books —

The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs by A. Wolf | Book Review

2 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I didn’t even get a cup of sugar. Cover art is copyright of Scholastic.

This is the story of Alexander T. Wolf as dictated to Jon Scieszka. It is illustrated by Lane Smith in browns, greys and dusty colours. It tells the tale of how Alexander – aka Al – was baking a cake for his sick granny when he ran out of sugar.

This is Al’s side of the “Three Little Pigs” story, which seeks to paint him as the victim of the whole ordeal. Excuse me while I scoff. I read this story and Al is far from innocent. Why? Al commits serial manslaughter.

I understand why Al would be reluctant to call the police – or a huntsman – in the aftermath of each of these incidents. Racially motivated police brutality is not the best incentive to call the authorities when you’re a wolf who has just committed manslaughter. Yet Al’s reaction to each of these accidents is ill-advised to say the least. It isn’t even the panic-induced “Whoops I just killed someone, what to do?” trope you see in the movies. It’s far more detached, which is a little unnerving.

I do not understand why Al would go door to door asking for a cup of sugar. He’s got one neighbour who’s so poor he had to build a house out of straw, one who’s busy and racist, and another who’s angry and racist. He must not know his neighbours at all, and who asks strangers for a cup of sugar?

While I don’t find Al guiltless in his actions, he is villainised by the media. They use the most threatening-looking photograph of him they can find and buzzwords like “big” and “bad” to describe him. It is spun to depict him – and wolves in general – as dangerous. This is shown on the cover page of “The Daily Pig” (All the News that’s Fit for Pigs) with the headline “Big Bad Wolf,” which includes an image of a wolf’s teeth with the caption “Seen as Menace.”

‘The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs’ is an interesting one to read with an objective eye. It does not depict A. Wolf as blameless but it does highlight how the media intertwines prejudice and sensationalism.

3 out of 5 stars

— Movies —

Solo: A Star Wars Story | Movie Review

1 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. Smuggle some goods my way! Solo is copyright of Disney and Lucasfilm LTD. Images used are for reference and commentary.

So, they tell me there is going to be a “Young Han Solo Movie.” Excuse you? They already made a movie with a young Han Solo. It was called Star Wars. Was Harrison Ford already old in that movie? I Googled it – he was 35. Damn, he was looking good.

I thought Solo was just going to be some little boy waddling around pretending to be Harrison Ford – and it was, but he did a pretty good job of it. Alden Ehrenreich – who is going to have to become a little more famous before I remember his name – may not look or sound exactly like Ford, but he did his homework and has his Hanerisms down. It’s all about attitude! This Han is a bit green but you can see him shaping into who he will become.

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In this movie, we learn some of Han’s backstory. How he became a smuggler, how he met Chewie and Lando, and even how he got his name. Can’t have Han without the Solo! Not just anyone can pull off a single name. Yes, this comment is directed at another certain someone in the movie. Look, you may be fierce, but you’re no Space Beyoncé!

New characters that are introduced are not fleshed out enough or appear too fleetingly. That is not to say I did not enjoy them. Qi’ra, Han’s love-interest – who is not pigeon-holed into that role – was refreshing and semi-unpredictable. Dryden Vos was just Paul Bettany after a scratch-up and Tobias Beckett was, well, Woody Harrelson.

The only new addition to the movie that stole my little hedgepiggy heart was L3-37 – Lando’s droid co-pilot – a rebel to the core. She is bad-ass and full of sass! Every Star Wars movie needs a droid and L3 put even Rogue One’s K-2SO to shame. L3 is all about droid rights and talking back. She speaks her mind and doesn’t take crap from anyone.

https://giphy.com/gifs/starwars-happy-star-wars-LwFckMS5dyaHNFXVJr

The real stars are Han, Chewie and Lando – and that’s why we buy the tickets! I was a little confused about Lando and L3’s relationship. Was there romance, sexy-times? Lando is pansexual – and it is touched upon with L3’s remarks about love and flirting towards her and Han – but could have used more visibility on-screen. I could use a lot more of Donald Glover as Lando. Give me another prequel about Lando and L3!

Solo: A Star Wars Story is full of nods to past movies that fan’s will appreciate and enjoy. It is not a movie to watch if you are not familiar with Han Solo and the original Star Wars trilogy.

3.5 out of 5 stars