Category: Books

— Comics —

Jedi Academy by Jeffrey Brown | Book Review

25 July, 2018

has some nice friendship moments. 

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I didn’t even get a lightsaber. Cover art is copyright Scholastic.

Jedi Academy is the first book in a trilogy by Jeffrey Brown, the man behind the coffee table books Vader & Son and Vader’s Little Princess. It is about Roan Novachez, a boy from Tatooine who dreams of being a pilot. Remind you of someone? When he’s rejected to Pilot Academy, Roan is offered a place at Jedi Academy.

The premise seems a bit implausible to me. Roan gets rejected to Pilot Academy Middle School, even though “nearly all of the applicants are accepted.” Who is letting all these little children into Pilot Academy? Can anyone do it? Can I do it? Please accept me! Oh. It’s on Alderaan. Nevermind…

Jedi Academy is a non-canon book. It splices the world of Star Wars with the world of Middle School. There are lightsabers and Holochess, but also Polaroids and AA batteries. So, I say it is “implausible” but it is not meant to be 100% legit. It is for fun! I am sure children will understand this. Keep it away from angry middle-aged fanboys who take themselves and their opinions too seriously.

This book is a mixture of journal and comic, written and illustrated by Roan. The parallels to Luke Skywalker and Episode IV will bop you right on the nose. Poor kid, stuck on Tatooine, wants to be a pilot, ends up a Jedi. Jeffrey even named the droids RW-22 and T-P3O!

Roan has a hard time training to be a Jedi. It’s harder for him, because he is starting much later than the other students. Many readers will empathise with Roan’s struggles. Not me, I would never be that incompetent. I will spare some pity for you, Roan.

Both of the school bullies – and the mean teacher – are Zabrak. This seems racist. In a feeble save, one of Roan’s best friends is also Zabrak. For those not in the know, Zabrak is the species of The Crime Lord Formerly Known as Darth Maul.

Jedi Academy is a slice-of-life novel. It has some nice friendship moments, but not much of a plot arc. Recommended for young Star Wars fans who are looking for something light and easy. I may read the sequel, Return of the Padawan. I am undecided.

2.8 out of 5 stars

— Comics —

Princess Princess Ever After by Katie O’Neill | Comic Review

18 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. Cover art is copyright of Katie O’Neill and Oni Press.

No prince has succeeded in rescuing Princess Sadie from her tower prison – but Princess Amria is no prince! Together, the two princesses will save one other and each find their place in the world.

The two princesses are endearing from the start. Amira is optimistic and determined. Sadie is outspoken and emotional. Seriously. That girl could drown a small village with her tears. It’s practically a superpower.

Amira’s rescuing methods are a little questionable. She could have maimed or killed Sadie on multiple occasions, but her perseverance is admirable. Sadie has that inexplicable sheltered blonde girl ability to solve problems with compassion. If anyone else tried this, they’d probably get themselves squished or smote.

Sadie and Amira also meet Prince Vladric. After decrying being helped by women, he then proceeds to tell them how easy they have it and how much baggage comes with the expectations of manly princeliness. Boo-hoo. I think Vladric could have been a more sympathetic character if there had been enough time in the story for more character development. Alas, he shall forever be Butthead.

‘Princess Princess Ever After’ touches on real insecurities. Amira is feeling lost, unsure of where she belongs. Sadie, belittled and degraded, bears a scar of self-doubt. Vladric…well, we covered him. The comic features a diverse cast of characters and an unspoken romantic thread between Amira and Sadie. This might have been argued as ambiguous (by the tragic and desperate) but the epilogue – which was not featured in the original web comic – makes it undeniable.

This is a short but enjoyable story for young readers (and old-er people too) from New Zealand writer and illustrator, Katie O’Neill. I look forward to reading more of her work.

3 out of 5 stars

— Picture Books —

Animal Music by Julia Donaldson, Illustrated by Nick Sharratt | Book Review

13 July, 2018

Disclosure: I borrowed this book from the library because it had a hedgehog on it. Also, I did not receive any compensation for this review. Cover art is copyright of Macmillan.

In this book, all sorts of animals are playing music. Except the hedgehog, he just hums. What are they trying to say? Hedgehogs can’t play instruments? Why couldn’t the hedgehog play the violin? They’ve got penguins playing the violin. PENGUINS! How is that even possible with their flippies?

I have been carried away. I shall compose myself. But not to music because apparently I can’t play an instrument. Just hum. Hmph.

The animals in this book include dogs, hippos, a koala, and some seafood. Is that derogatory? Sea creatures. They croon and play the spoons. I think that they have rebelled against a seafood restaurant. They have taken up the utensils that would be used to eat them and reclaimed their freedom, making music from strife.

There is a bison playing the cello that has phenomenal balance. Then there is a tiger and a carthorse. What makes a carthorse a carthorse? Is it a cart? Because this carthorse doesn’t have a cart. Is a carthorse still a carthorse if it has no cart? The tiger is beating a drum near the carthorse’s ear. I expect is aggravating, but if he complains he will be eaten.

There are also some turtles. Real turtles, not tortoises calling themselves turtles. I’m looking at you teenage ninjas! Then there is a gerbil playing a camel. Does a camel constitute as a musical instrument? Is it polite to jump around on a camel and use it as your own bouncy castle/bongo drums?

They are all playing music of different genres – pop, classical, blues and more. They are either clashing terribly or playing different set pieces. Each animal wears a sparkly red bow or bowtie. Among the animals are a diverse group of children, dancing and singing. It is night-time and they have no adult supervision.

I must conclude that this book is taking place at an international music festival to raise money for a children’s charity. Or, the animals are brainwashing all of the children, and have done away with the adults. Maybe the humming hedgehog is a hypnotist! He must be the mastermind behind it all. Yes.

‘Animal Music’ is a book packed with simple rhymes, where alliteration abounds. It is good for early readers, though I cannot say whether there is anything nefarious subliminally hidden in the text. Read at your own risk.

2.3 out of 5 stars

— Comics —

Wade Wilson’s War by Duane Swierczynski, Illustrated by Jason Pearson | Comic Review

11 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I could use some to pay for therapy. Cover art is copyright of Marvel.

This was my first Deadpool comic. I am scarred for life.

Not because of the violence, or the language, or the crazy. No. It is because the comic book people played with my mind. They made me question my own sanity. I did not like it. They are the Weapon X of my life and this is my origin story.

The comic starts off savvy. There is intrigue and Deadpoolian humour. Wade is recounting his deadly shenanigans to some official stiffs. There are many scene cuts/flashbacks. New readers who know &^%# all about Deadpool get some insight into his origin story.

Deadpool is a special soul. He is a loony, a maniac. He is also aware that he is a comic book character and breaks the fourth wall. It is marvelous. These traits are all executed in ‘Wade Wilson’s War’ – but then things get whack, and I don’t mean Deadpool-fun-times [lewd pun redacted].

The narrative is psychotically skewed. This is expected from the mind of Deadpool, but this comic tries to imply that all of Deadpool’s antics do just that – happen inside his mind. He is still crazy, but the reader is lead to question whether he is enlightened or just delusional, and the comic is full of conflicting information. Deadpool says this, security footage shows that. What is real? Who is alive? Who is dead? Is Wade Wilson just a crazy man who thinks he has superpowers?

‘Wade Wilson’s War’ takes the unreliable narrator trope and [innuendo metaphor redacted]. If that sounds good to you, read it – but be warned. You may exit this journey with conflicting emotions and more questions that you can contain.

Am I real or a fiction? Am I free or a puppet? Am I sane or a prisoner of my own imagination?

I no longer know.

1.8 out of 5 stars

— Picture Books —

Porcupining: A Prickly Love Story by Lisa Wheeler, Illustrated by Janie Bynum | Book Review

9 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I was not even serenaded by a porcupine. Cover art is copyright of Little, Brown.

This is the story of Cushion, a lone Porcupine who lives in a petting zoo. You can imagine what a depressing life that is! Lonely and dejected, Cushion jailbreaks his pen and goes in search of a wife, banjo in hand. Yes, he plays the banjo. I can’t decide if this is magnificent or mortifying. Maybe both.

What keeps Cushion from finding a mate isn’t his prickly exterior, or his banjo playing, or his singing. Well, those might be contributing factors, but they aren’t his ultimate downfall. No, that lies in how he expresses himself.

Cushion is the Mr Collins of porcupines.

I’m not exaggerating. He is single-minded in his goal of “porcupining for a wife” (cringe) and has a talent for delivering insults as if they were compliments. When his advances are poorly received, he writes off the other party as the one at fault and continues on his way to woo his next victim.

Of course, as this is “a prickly love story” Mr Coll- Cushion manages to inexplicably find his perfect match in a beautiful hedgehog. Much like Elizabeth Bennet, I am flabbergasted…and intrigued. Critical as I may be of Cushion’s character, I am interested to know how this prickly love story will pan out – and there just so happens to be a follow-up book, ‘Hokey-Pokey: Another Prickly Love Story.’ I may read it.

My favourite illustrations in the book are actually the ones in the cover pages. The ones of Cushion trying to catch hearts in a net and a jar are very sweet, and the one of him smooching a hairbrush is simultaneously funny and embarrassing.

I would recommend ‘Porcupining: A Prickly Love Story’ to anyone who likes puns (so many puns) and stories where even the most obtuse and exasperating of creatures can find love.

2.5 out of 5 stars

— Poetry —

Dirty Beasts by Roald Dahl, Illustrated by Quentin Blake | Book Review

6 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I was not even accosted by any “dirty beasts.” Cover art is copyright Puffin Books.

‘Dirty Beasts’ is a book of poems by Roald Dahl about various animals, most of whom seem to be aggressive towards humans in one form or another.

Sometimes the animal is lashing out against abuse (The Anteater) or experiencing intense paranoia (The Pig) but mostly the animals seem to taunt and attack humans for pure enjoyment.

The poems follow a rhyming couplet scheme. I think that is what they are called – AA BB CC etc. Each line is eight syllables long.

My favourite poems are the shorter ones – the ones that take up less than a page or a little over. They seem to be the cleverest and have the most effective rhyming. Most of the poems dodder on for pages. They read like short stories with continuous run-on sentences and the rhythmic pace suffers.

There is no poem about hedgehogs, though one does make an appearance in one of Quentin Blake’s illustrations at the end of the poem The Porcupine. This is most unpleasant as I do not think hedgehogs deserved to be lumped in under the title ‘Dirty Beasts’ even in such a minor role.

With the exception of The Porcupine, who does nothing but be sat upon, the “beasts” in Dahl’s poems range from hungry to xenophobic. The French are stereotyped to an extravagance as rabid snail and frog eaters, and an Afghani man is referred to as a “silly foreign freak” and defecated upon.

Then there are the poems that seek to fuel the propaganda that these “beasts” live to eat little children. I must say that dousing them in butterscotch and caramel does sound rather appetizing. However, the most disturbing part of the poem The Crocodile is when an adult tells their child “Go lock the door and fetch my gun!” That is not going to end well.

The last poem in the book is about something called The Tummy Beast, which I assume is a Chestburster.

If you pick up ‘Dirty Beasts’ by Roald Dahl, I recommend The Crocodile, The Lion, and The Scorpion. These poems were enjoyable to read but the rest of the book has not left me with a desire to repeat the experience. It has only left me with one question: What is a Roly-Poly Bird?

2 out of 5 stars

— Picture Books —

The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs by A. Wolf | Book Review

2 July, 2018

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. I didn’t even get a cup of sugar. Cover art is copyright of Scholastic.

This is the story of Alexander T. Wolf as dictated to Jon Scieszka. It is illustrated by Lane Smith in browns, greys and dusty colours. It tells the tale of how Alexander – aka Al – was baking a cake for his sick granny when he ran out of sugar.

This is Al’s side of the “Three Little Pigs” story, which seeks to paint him as the victim of the whole ordeal. Excuse me while I scoff. I read this story and Al is far from innocent. Why? Al commits serial manslaughter.

I understand why Al would be reluctant to call the police – or a huntsman – in the aftermath of each of these incidents. Racially motivated police brutality is not the best incentive to call the authorities when you’re a wolf who has just committed manslaughter. Yet Al’s reaction to each of these accidents is ill-advised to say the least. It isn’t even the panic-induced “Whoops I just killed someone, what to do?” trope you see in the movies. It’s far more detached, which is a little unnerving.

I do not understand why Al would go door to door asking for a cup of sugar. He’s got one neighbour who’s so poor he had to build a house out of straw, one who’s busy and racist, and another who’s angry and racist. He must not know his neighbours at all, and who asks strangers for a cup of sugar?

While I don’t find Al guiltless in his actions, he is villainised by the media. They use the most threatening-looking photograph of him they can find and buzzwords like “big” and “bad” to describe him. It is spun to depict him – and wolves in general – as dangerous. This is shown on the cover page of “The Daily Pig” (All the News that’s Fit for Pigs) with the headline “Big Bad Wolf,” which includes an image of a wolf’s teeth with the caption “Seen as Menace.”

‘The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs’ is an interesting one to read with an objective eye. It does not depict A. Wolf as blameless but it does highlight how the media intertwines prejudice and sensationalism.

3 out of 5 stars