Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. Cover art is copyright of Walker Books.*

This is the story of five children. Yes, the tall one is a child. He just has a serious case of dad-face.

These five children are going to hunt for a bear. Not a make-believe bear in a make-believe game. No, these children go in search of a real, live bear, armed with nothing but a stick. Presumably to poke the bear with.

They chant as they go, saying they’re “going to catch a big one” as if they are going to snare a large fish. They are also “not scared.” Apparently they have been emboldened by the “beautiful day” as though good weather were the ultimate shield against danger.

These kids are not cut out for bear hunting. They say “Oh no!” when they have to wade through some grass. Yet they trudge on, intent on seeking out and confronting a wild animal.

Who raised these obtuse children? Where are their parents? Are they at home making naïve baby number six? Their only companion is a dog, who is not much of a protector.

The book is written in a sing-song style and utilises onomatopoeia. It alternates between double-page spreads in watercolour and black ‘n’ white. This was very distracting and a strain on my poor wee eyes.

‘We’re Going on a Bear Hunt’ is the tale of five dim-witted children. It is “retold by Michael Rosen.” Perhaps this means there is an original version where the children meet a grizzly end. (See what I did there?) I shouldn’t be at all surprised.

Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation for this review. Cover art is copyright of Minnesota Press.

‘Gone is Gone’ or ‘The Story of a Man Who Wanted to Do Housework’ is retold here by Wanda Ga’g, after being passed down orally through generations of her family. The book is dedicated “To My Peasant Ancestors.” This is how I intend to dedicate my future memoirs.

Fritzl and Liesi live and work on their land. Fritzl works out in the field all day. Liesi works in and around the house and looks after the baby. Fritzl believes that he works harder than Liesi and has no issue in saying so.

“Little do you know, Liesi, what a man’s work is like, little do you know! Your work now, ’tis nothing at all.”

Liesi wallops him, takes the child and leaves him. Alas, I kid. She is instead miraculously bemused by his misogyny. She suggests that they swap workloads for a day.

‘Gone is Gone’ is titled thus because every time Fritzl screws up one of the chores, he shrugs and says “Na, na! What’s gone is gone.” Is it such a wonder that he’s so easy on himself after dismissing his wife’s hard word? A ripping display of male entitlement.

Fritzl’s incompetence amplifies until he has put the lives of his dog, his cow, his child and himself in jeopardy. What an idiot. Even so, Liesi is patient and kind with him, though an “I told you so” is heavily implied – and well-deserved.

‘Gone is Gone’ is is a fine tale of comeuppance for adults and children alike.